MADDIE KLUGMAN

That’s how she left it! Drawers on the flo, ring ‘round the tub and her grandma’s old ratty wig hangin’ atop the toothbrushes---jus didn’t even try an straighten out her mess. That was how Maddie Klugman was, you know? Called herself a free spirit but the towns’ folk called her a harlot. Imagine! Maddie walking ‘round town, head high nuf tah commune with various forms of fowl. Her struttin’ and gyratin’ ‘round like she was a lady of status and virtue or somethin’. Made me sad tah watch it. So I did what nobody else in Stoddardville woulda even thought ‘bout doin’. Yep! I started invitin’ Maddie ovah fo weekend soirees---well, it was only us two and it wernt no real party. ‘Twas more like Bible study which, tah mah surprise, Maddie came tah enjoy tremendously. And so that’s the way it began for Maddie and me. Nobody was mo surprised than me though, when Maddie started ‘ttendin’ services sportin’ her grandma, Mavis’ vintage oriental fan and the most delightful sundresses donated by yourstruly tah the Stoddardville Salvation Army. Maddie began quotin’ verses, shoutin’ in church and sportin’ the most delicate hankies embroidered by Godknows who but impeccably done see? Not only did she impress me but others was duly amazed as well. And so, every weekend I continued with mah social etiquette and Bible study classes with ”Maddie-dear” which is what I had come to call her. Nobody was mo surprised than me when Sweet Willie Saunter slid into town and swept Maddie-dear off her feet. I hear tell that he drove into Kalvanston so fast to get tah the Justice that every sto on the main drag hadda wash that there dust from they windos. When Sweet Willie and Maddie returned to Stoddardville the summer following they dramatic exit and they record-breakin’ wedding, Maddie spotted me soon’s I departed Flora’s Fish-N-Chip sto. She sprinted ‘cross the dirt road like a world class Olympic runner would. Maddie locked her arms ‘round my neck and whispered, “Chile, ahm Pregnant!” she sad emphatically. Can’t talk no mo right now, y’all; it’s Monday and I shops on Mondays. I hear tell that Pete’s gotta pigs-feet special, Petunia Watson owes me a few coins from yesterdity when the collection plate come ‘round and I oliged her and dropped a few coins right in that plate on her and my behalf; plus, Maddie comes in tah town from nearby Freedoms Port where she relocated with Sweet Willie. Gots two bad ass lil boys too! Nevertheless folks, and I aim tah confront her today on why she stopped ‘ttedin’ church how she done—nevah you mind them drawers on mah bathroom flo and that ring ‘round mah tub!